The Return to Raleigh (Part 1)
Welcome to the weekend. You’ve worked all week, doing the 9 to 5 so you can still participate in the game of Life. Now you’ve earned yourself two days to do as you want.
I can’t think of a more sadistic way to spend it than taking those 48 hours and devoting 8 hours to driving interstate 40, 18 hours to LSAT classes which last from 8am-9am, and about 12 hours to sleeping. Take away about 4 hours to eat the 6 meals for the two days, and I wind up with about 6 hours to get the rest, relaxation, and recharge needed for the next week…Yay for weekends.
Am getting to see the old Raleigh Folks. And Raleigh Folks if you’re reading this call me!!! 828-208-7717! My old cell phone broke and I didn’t get most of my numbers copied to my new phone. So don’t get mad if I haven’t called you.
It’s really weird being back here, that’s for sure. This is the first time I’ve been back in a long time. A lot of things have changed since then. Drastically changed. Yet the places look the same. The must be what the Stars think when they come out at night. Wow, the land looks the same, but what the F*** happened to that guy.
You know that song that we used to sing as kids? “God’s still working on me, to make me who I oughta be…” I guess periods in time like this is when you’ve built something onto your life that wasn’t in His plan of how it should shape out, so He gets the chisel out and breaks you back down to where you need to be. Well I really wish He’d finish, cause it’s hurting. A lot.
Well The Indian has requested more information about the two dates from last week…so here is a synopsis. I hope it doesn’t offend A or B.
Girl A:
Miles traveled: 106 miles.
Money Spent: $48 on food, $11 on parting gift, estimated $8 in gas = $67
Result: Planned on meeting in 4 doors. Called her cell phone, dorm phone, IM’ed, and E-mailed to inquire as to when/where….Recieved an email reply approximately 4 days after the suggested/planned/whatever meeting.
Conclusion: Yeah, probably not gonna work. Apparently she is not interested in dating me. That being just about the only criteria needed to be filled in order for me to date, we have a miserable failure.
Girl B:
Miles Traveled: 136
Money Spent: $54 on food, $2 on cute ‘hello’ present, $9.31 in gas = $65.31
Result: Good meeting, good conversation, then I spilt my glass of ice water on my pants, freaked her out by showing her the guns I was working on (see previous post), and the evening ended with one of those one-armed half-hugs that kind of says “I realize that I’m obligated to make physical contact to complete this transaction of your time and your money for my enjoyment, but the more awkward and less actual touching that it involves the more I solidify the point that the awkward silences, blank stares, and continual typing on my cellphone have been trying to tell you for quite some time.”
Conclusion: *Beep beep* You have 1 New Message: You Lose. Or as she so succinctly put it, “You’re a really great guy. You’re so sweet. I just don’t ever see us being more than friends.” Upon consulting Webster’s Let-You-Down Dictionary, I have translated the message to this, “I can tell that a lot of people probably think you are a great guy, I’m just not seeing it for myself. You seem sweet, in a kind of “awww, look at that Mama Bird regurgitating into its baby’s mouth. Isn’t that sweet?” way. I just don’t look for that in a date. I just don’t ever see me being in a place where I would have low enough standards to need you around.”
So there you go Ben. I have bared my soul to cyberspace. I’ve dropped trousers on my heart. All in all, it was two dates that I spent too much money on and felt like I had not accomplished anything for myself or for either of the girls. It probably took me a step back actually. Getting your hopes up for something, inevitably leads to disappointment, and I understand that. But getting your hopes up for something that other people just take completely for granted and having to pay to lose, is real disappointment.
Not quite sure what I’m doing now. I’m done chasing, that’s for sure. If one happens to run me off the road somewhere between work, my house, and the video store, then by all means I might give it another try. If one were to offer some encouragement with some real evidence behind it, then maybe I’d build up enough Hope capital to be proactive again. But my Hope meter is laying dead on the red F. I don’t really even care anymore…yeah I know I’m lying. I’m trying to sound callous and macho. Just play along.
Goodnight
I can’t think of a more sadistic way to spend it than taking those 48 hours and devoting 8 hours to driving interstate 40, 18 hours to LSAT classes which last from 8am-9am, and about 12 hours to sleeping. Take away about 4 hours to eat the 6 meals for the two days, and I wind up with about 6 hours to get the rest, relaxation, and recharge needed for the next week…Yay for weekends.
Am getting to see the old Raleigh Folks. And Raleigh Folks if you’re reading this call me!!! 828-208-7717! My old cell phone broke and I didn’t get most of my numbers copied to my new phone. So don’t get mad if I haven’t called you.
It’s really weird being back here, that’s for sure. This is the first time I’ve been back in a long time. A lot of things have changed since then. Drastically changed. Yet the places look the same. The must be what the Stars think when they come out at night. Wow, the land looks the same, but what the F*** happened to that guy.
You know that song that we used to sing as kids? “God’s still working on me, to make me who I oughta be…” I guess periods in time like this is when you’ve built something onto your life that wasn’t in His plan of how it should shape out, so He gets the chisel out and breaks you back down to where you need to be. Well I really wish He’d finish, cause it’s hurting. A lot.
Well The Indian has requested more information about the two dates from last week…so here is a synopsis. I hope it doesn’t offend A or B.
Girl A:
Miles traveled: 106 miles.
Money Spent: $48 on food, $11 on parting gift, estimated $8 in gas = $67
Result: Planned on meeting in 4 doors. Called her cell phone, dorm phone, IM’ed, and E-mailed to inquire as to when/where….Recieved an email reply approximately 4 days after the suggested/planned/whatever meeting.
Conclusion: Yeah, probably not gonna work. Apparently she is not interested in dating me. That being just about the only criteria needed to be filled in order for me to date, we have a miserable failure.
Girl B:
Miles Traveled: 136
Money Spent: $54 on food, $2 on cute ‘hello’ present, $9.31 in gas = $65.31
Result: Good meeting, good conversation, then I spilt my glass of ice water on my pants, freaked her out by showing her the guns I was working on (see previous post), and the evening ended with one of those one-armed half-hugs that kind of says “I realize that I’m obligated to make physical contact to complete this transaction of your time and your money for my enjoyment, but the more awkward and less actual touching that it involves the more I solidify the point that the awkward silences, blank stares, and continual typing on my cellphone have been trying to tell you for quite some time.”
Conclusion: *Beep beep* You have 1 New Message: You Lose. Or as she so succinctly put it, “You’re a really great guy. You’re so sweet. I just don’t ever see us being more than friends.” Upon consulting Webster’s Let-You-Down Dictionary, I have translated the message to this, “I can tell that a lot of people probably think you are a great guy, I’m just not seeing it for myself. You seem sweet, in a kind of “awww, look at that Mama Bird regurgitating into its baby’s mouth. Isn’t that sweet?” way. I just don’t look for that in a date. I just don’t ever see me being in a place where I would have low enough standards to need you around.”
So there you go Ben. I have bared my soul to cyberspace. I’ve dropped trousers on my heart. All in all, it was two dates that I spent too much money on and felt like I had not accomplished anything for myself or for either of the girls. It probably took me a step back actually. Getting your hopes up for something, inevitably leads to disappointment, and I understand that. But getting your hopes up for something that other people just take completely for granted and having to pay to lose, is real disappointment.
Not quite sure what I’m doing now. I’m done chasing, that’s for sure. If one happens to run me off the road somewhere between work, my house, and the video store, then by all means I might give it another try. If one were to offer some encouragement with some real evidence behind it, then maybe I’d build up enough Hope capital to be proactive again. But my Hope meter is laying dead on the red F. I don’t really even care anymore…yeah I know I’m lying. I’m trying to sound callous and macho. Just play along.
Goodnight
posted by Harold A. Lusk, Jr. | 7:26 PM
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